Sacred Space for Connection: Why Every Couple Needs Time Away
This weekend, 30 couples gathered with us in the foothills of Colorado Springs. They didn’t just take a vacation. They carved out sacred space — for rest, for reconnection, and for renewal.
These were couples who’ve walked through betrayal, disappointment, disconnection, and hope deferred. Some were just starting to rebuild trust. Others were celebrating years of hard-won growth. But all of them had one thing in common: they chose to step out of the daily noise and fight for their relationship.
And that decision — to set time apart — may be the most powerful one they’ll make all year.
Why Sacred Space Matters in Relationships
Every relationship needs regular maintenance. That’s not a sign of weakness — it’s simply how intimacy works. Emotional connection, like physical health, requires intentionality. But for many couples, especially those in recovery from betrayal or disconnection, daily life is full of interruptions: kids, work, stress, screens, trauma triggers, and the unspoken weight of all that’s been lost.
Creating sacred space means making time to be fully present with each other — to step out of survival mode and back into emotional partnership. It’s not just about time away; it’s about intentional presence.
The Research Is Clear: Retreats Change Relationships
According to a study published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, couples who participate in relationship enrichment retreats report higher levels of relationship satisfaction, emotional closeness, and sexual intimacy — even six months after the event.
Other findings show that:
Couples retreats can reduce cortisol (stress hormone) levels through emotional bonding activities
Attending a retreat is linked to improved communication skills and emotional attunement
Shared positive experiences in new environments boost oxytocin (the connection hormone), especially when paired with physical touch, laughter, and shared vulnerability
One 2016 study from The Gottman Institute found that couples who spent at least one weekend per year away together — without children or distractions — reported significantly higher levels of fondness and admiration, two core predictors of long-term relationship health.
It turns out what many couples need isn’t just more counseling. They need space.
What Happens When You Step Away
In our years of working with couples in recovery, we've seen again and again what happens when two people make time for sacred space:
A husband realizes, for the first time in years, that he actually misses his wife — not just her presence, but her soul.
A wife finally says what she’s been afraid to say — and he stays present, grounded, and open.
They cry. They laugh. They remember the version of themselves that existed before everything fell apart.
They create something new — not by forgetting the past, but by choosing to meet each other again in the present.
That’s what sacred space does. It makes room not only for grief and growth — but for joy, hope, and reconnection.
Building the Intimacy Pyramid Together
In our teaching, we use a tool called the Intimacy Pyramid. It outlines five foundational levels of rebuilding connection:
Honesty — Telling the truth about your inner world
Safety — Creating emotional and relational stability
Trust — Committing to the “us” through action
Vulnerability — Taking risks again emotionally and physically
Intimacy — A felt sense of closeness and mutual enjoyment
What we’ve seen is that couples often want intimacy, but they haven’t created space for the first four layers. Sacred space — like a retreat — helps rebuild those foundational layers. It gives couples the time, safety, and guidance to:
Speak the truth about where they are
Create new experiences of safety and trust
Learn new ways of listening, sharing, and playing
Practice vulnerability in small, meaningful ways
This isn’t just about fixing problems. It’s about creating a life you want to return to — together.
The Power of a Shared Experience
What makes a retreat different than a regular date night or therapy session? One word: immersion.
At a retreat, couples are immersed in:
Shared rhythms — Morning connection practices, guided conversations, prayer or reflection, movement
Shared learning — Hearing stories from other couples, receiving practical tools
Shared play — Eating, laughing, walking, dancing, doing things that spark joy again
It’s not therapy. It’s not performance. It’s a new environment that invites your relationship to breathe again.
Couples walked away not just with new insights, but with memories that felt good to remember. And that created forward momentum — a sense of shared “we can do this.”
What We Witnessed in Colorado Springs
To the couples who joined us in Colorado Springs — we honor the courage it took to make space like this. You didn’t just invest in your marriage; you reclaimed your story.
You named that what you have is sacred. And sacred things deserve care.
As you reflected, shared, walked in the cool mountain air, and sat in silence with the one you’ve chosen to stay with — we hope you were reminded that what you’re doing matters.
This retreat wasn’t a finish line. It was a marker — a sacred pause to say:
“We’re still here. We’re still becoming. We’re still choosing us.”
What Sacred Space Might Look Like for You
Even if you couldn’t attend the retreat this time, you can begin creating sacred space for your relationship:
Plan a distraction-free weekend together — turn off phones, cancel other plans, be present
Practice the daily pause — 10 minutes each day of honest conversation or shared gratitude
Invest in something new — a course, a couples group, or a book that challenges you to grow
Revisit a meaningful place — go back to where you first met, or where you once felt deeply connected
Name a shared intention — What are we building together now? What kind of relationship do we want to create?
Because every relationship — especially those that have endured hardship — deserves the chance to heal, to deepen, and to be enjoyed again.
Make space for that. Make it sacred.
