Creating Connections Blog
Intimacy Ignited: The Intimacy Killers We Don’t Mean to Use
After betrayal, intimacy can fade not just from overt harm, but also from more covert behaviors, including: pressure, entitlement, rushing the process, and coping with shame. Learn the unintentional behaviors that quietly kill intimacy in recovery, and how creating safety sets the stage for reconnection.
Intimacy Ignited: What Snuffs Out Intimacy Before We Even Notice
February, a month often focused on love, can be a tender time for couples healing from betrayal or disconnection. Discover how intimacy is quietly snuffed out through patterns of demand and duty—and how freedom, desire, and choice create space for true connection again.
When Celebrations Hurt: Navigating Anniversaries and Milestones in Couples Recovery
Anniversaries and milestones can be painful for couples healing from betrayal. Learn how to hold celebration and grief together in recovery.
Grieving Together: How Couples Heal Betrayal Through Shared Grief
Healthy couples heal betrayal by grieving together. Learn how shared grief softens defenses, rewrites painful memories, and rebuilds intimacy and trust.
Going Deeper to Grow Closer: The Practices That Transform Couples in Recovery
Learn how couples recovering from betrayal can rebuild intimacy through emotional depth, honesty, repair, and slow, regulated conversations in 2026.
Who Do We Want to Become in 2026? A Vision-Casting Guide for Couples in Recovery
Couples in betrayal recovery: create a shared 2026 vision. Clarify who you want to become, how you’ll handle hard moments, and how to grow closer this year.
Hope After the Holidays: Finding Meaning, Strength, and Connection in the Aftermath of a Hard Season
Reflect on the emotional aftermath of the holiday season with this hopeful guide for couples healing from addiction or betrayal. Explore how small moments, honest reflection, and compassionate awareness create new possibilities for connection and growth.
When Holidays Hurt: Navigate the Season in Recovery With Strength and Honesty
Learn how couples healing from addiction or betrayal can navigate the holiday season with honesty, emotional awareness, and compassion. This research informed guide offers real client stories and practical insights to help rebuild trust and strengthen connection.
Rewriting the Script: Caring for Your Younger Self So You Can Show Up as a Secure Adult in Your Relationships
Discover four essential steps for caring for the “younger self” and showing up as a secure adult in relationships. A trauma-informed guide for couples in recovery and those healing from betrayal.
When the Younger Self Leads: How Unmet Needs Create Adult Reactivity, Neediness, and Disconnection
Learn how the “younger self” influences conflict, intimacy, and emotional reactions in adult relationships. Explore signs, research insights, and practical steps to recognize and regulate childhood-driven triggers.
Right Script, Wrong Players: How the Younger Self Shows Up in Adult Relationships
Discover how childhood wounds create a “younger self” that can sabotage adult relationships. Learn the psychology behind “Right Script, Wrong Players”, plus practical steps to heal and build secure connections.
Sacred Space for Connection: Why Every Couple Needs Time Away
Discover how creating sacred space — like a couples retreat — strengthens emotional connection, trust, and intimacy. Learn how 30 couples reconnected in Colorado Springs.
What to Look for in a Trustworthy Husband
For betrayed partners, one of the hardest questions is knowing whether a husband is truly becoming trustworthy again. This post provides a clear roadmap, using the Intimacy Pyramid framework, for identifying the difference between performance and real change. You’ll learn what congruence looks like, why humility and accountability matter, and how emotional availability shows up in everyday life. Drawing from betrayal trauma research and real client stories, this blog equips partners with practical ways to discern whether their husband is showing genuine transformation. If you’re searching for signs of hope and safety after betrayal, this guide offers clarity and reassurance.
Receiving Feedback as a Gift on the Road to Trust
Feedback is often painful, especially for men in recovery who feel like their progress goes unnoticed. But what if feedback, even when it stings, is one of the most powerful tools for rebuilding trust? This blog examines why defensiveness destroys safety, how to slow down reactivity, and how to hear the truth inside your partner’s words. Combining psychological research, growth mindset principles, and practical tools from the Intimacy Pyramid, you’ll learn how to transform feedback from a source of shame into a catalyst for growth. By handling feedback with humility, you send one of the clearest signals that you’re becoming trustworthy again.
Building Safety Through Consistency, Not Control
When trust has been broken, safety is the foundation for rebuilding. But too often, men fall into the trap of trying to control outcomes—managing how their wives respond—rather than focusing on consistency. This post explores why control undermines recovery, and why small, reliable actions matter more than dramatic promises. Drawing from real coaching experiences, relationship research, and the Intimacy Pyramid, you’ll gain practical steps for becoming dependable without manipulation. Learn how safety grows one consistent choice at a time and why this steady approach creates the soil for real trust and intimacy to flourish again.
The “Trust Me” Trap
Discover why the common “trust me” approach after betrayal often backfires, and what men in recovery can do instead to rebuild safety and intimacy. This blog unpacks the dangers of performance-based recovery, where promises and checklists replace genuine transformation. Through client stories, practical tools, and the Intimacy Pyramid framework, you’ll learn how to shift from seeking approval to embodying honesty and consistency. If you’re tired of trying harder but getting nowhere, this post offers a new perspective on becoming truly trustworthy in the eyes of your partner.
Building Connection—Couples Assessments for Lasting Growth
Learn how couples assessments using the Intimacy Pyramid™ help rebuild honesty, trust, and intimacy—plus our brand-new Relational Intimacy Assessment.
Laying the Foundation—How Assessments Unlock Healing
Discover how counseling and coaching assessments empower growth, increase self-awareness, and provide clarity—without judgment or labels.
Building Integrity: Using Intention, Reflection, and Accountability
When you’ve lived through destructive choices—whether it’s sexual addiction, infidelity, or any other behavior that’s robbed you and those you love of safety and trust—you learn quickly that rebuilding your life isn’t just about quitting a behavior. It’s about becoming a different kind of man. Integrity isn’t something you can fake or shortcut. It’s built, brick by brick, through the way you live, think, and relate to others every single day.
Over the years, in my own story and in the hundreds of men I’ve coached, I’ve come to see three essential ingredients that create lasting integrity: intention, reflection, and accountability. Each one addresses a blind spot that keeps us stuck, and together they form a framework for sustainable change. Let’s walk through each.
Breaking the Conflict Cycle: Part 4
If competition and compliance are the survival modes of conflict, cooperation is the path to healing and intimacy. Cooperation is about shifting from “you vs. me” to “you and me”—a choice each partner must make individually before it can transform the relationship. This blog explores what cooperation looks like in practice: honesty without attack, listening with curiosity, balancing give and take, and seeking solutions that serve both partners. We also share how our clients use The Four Steps, a regulation tool we teach, to pause reactivity and return to conversations with clarity. Drawing from research, we highlight how the strongest relationships are often forged by facing tough external challenges together—like a championship team rising under pressure. Betrayal recovery, as painful as it is, can become one of those challenges that builds resilience and deeper connection when faced with cooperation.